Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
