Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
