sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
