I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want a musical about memes.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
