i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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