my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
