He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
