I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dicks are not precious.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
