someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
