That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he puts the penis in happiness.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
