just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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