Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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