I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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