And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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