Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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