the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
