so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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