I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
