Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
