At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
