Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
