we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
