We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
