bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
