there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
