my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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