Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
