So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
