i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
