Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Panties = found
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
