things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
