I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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