I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
