Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
