No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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