Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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