She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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