we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
