Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
