I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
