i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
