She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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