He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
