didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
