Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
