sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
