I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
