Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
