Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This is my life. Enjoy the view
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Shame - the story of my life.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
