I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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