people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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