I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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